


When the Time is Right

by NegativeBlue



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, one shot based on the season 2 finale, spoilers for that, though it's been a while now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NegativeBlue/pseuds/NegativeBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Regina finally gets a shot at being a hero, at saving the day, even though it means sacrificing her own life to do so, she never figured it would reveal her deepest guarded secret. Nor the consequential emotional roller-coaster that would follow. </p><p>(One-shot based on the season 2 finale)</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the Time is Right

**Author's Note:**

> I began writing this before any sneak peaks were released for the finale. It was mainly based on the promo (and the combined Revenge promo) I kinda have to thank Barbie-shoes for the idea too. As always thanks to Antti for beta-ing this. And as always this one-shot go way away from me, hence the length, woops.

                                                                                                         --When the time is right

                                                                                                                      --Don’t hold back

                                                                                                                                                  --Griffin House - When the time is right

****  
  
  
  


___________________________

****

It’s not enough.

She can feel the destructive magic slipping away from her. It pushes against the hold she has on it and she feels as fragile as glass at that moment. Knowing with an startling clarity that there aren’t even minutes left anymore. It’s just seconds now. And they tick away with every crumb of darkness that seeps out from underneath her hands and gets loose to wreak havoc on the town above her.

She’s bending, but she won’t break. Not just yet. Not before it’s on her own terms. Not before she is certain that she gave everyone enough time to get away before the total destruction of Storybrooke. Everyone, though maybe a few people most of all.

She thinks of Henry hugging her. Holds the image in her head. Uses it to fuel every last bit of willpower she has left. Channels it into her magic, into the hold she has on the diamond hovering below her hands.

But it’s not enough...

Movement at the edge of her vision startles her, almost makes her concentration falter.

“Miss Swan,” she grits out between clenched teeth. Every word she speaks costing her energy. Energy she can’t afford right now. “I thought I-I told you to leave, there isn’t.. I c-can’t contain this much longer...”

Emma eyes flicker from the diamond and the magic that Regina is enveloping it with, to the woman’s face. To the desperate look in her eyes. A look of a person that knows they are going to die, and made their peace with it.

She thinks of the talk she had with Henry and resolutely steels her resolve, taking a few quick steps until she’s standing opposite to Regina, the glowing diamond an ominous presence between them.

“W-what are..you..”

“What does it look like Regina? My magic, I think I can...” Emma trails off as she brings out her hands in front of her. She ignores the incredulous look Regina is throwing her, as if she’s crazy for even thinking this might work. Maybe she is, but she and Henry already lost Neal, and Emma will be damned if they will lose Regina too. Not if there was even a tiny chance that this might work.

“And what if it doesn’t...d-doesn’t work,” Regina mutters out, her eyes roll around in their sockets with the massive strain the magic is placing on her both mentally and physically. The only response she gets in return is a shrug and a look that signified they were both going to be screwed if it didn’t.

Regina is torn between trying to make Emma leave again, to at least have one of Henry’s mothers make it out of here and take care of him, or putting some trust into Emma’s ability to harness her magic. Magic born from true love. It scares Regina in a way, this type of magic. Because it’s so unfamiliar to her. And partly because of her own unresolved feelings for the blonde savior currently standing just a feet away from her.

She stares in wonder as Emma closes her eyes and magic bursts forth from her hands to envelop Regina’s own. Instantly she feels the pressure within herself lessen and she lets out a sigh of relief. Emma’s eyes are focused on her, and there’s a smile playing around her lips that Regina can’t help but return.

It’s not enough though.

Regina knows this too. They contained the magic temporarily, they didn’t stop it. It was only a matter of time before they would run out of magical energy. Before the diamond’s raw destructive power overwhelmed them both.

“Emma, you bought us some time, but this...it can’t be stopped. You need to leave while you still can.”

“Not without you,” Emma vows, and she surprises herself with how much she means every word of it. She looks down at her hands, hovering above Regina’s own, and an idea hits her then.

“What are you..” Regina’s eyes go wide when she feels Emma hand’s grasp hers, tangling their fingers together. Their magic sparks off of each other everywhere, sending multi-colored flashes throughout the mine.

“It’s not working,” Emma says, an edge of desperation lacing her words. “Why won’t it...I thought,” her brows crease as she looks into Regina’s stark brown eyes. Her heart skips a beat at the easily readable conflict that’s playing across the other woman’s face. Emma realizes that the reason their magic won’t work together is because Regina isn’t letting it. Somehow is fighting it, subconsciously or not

“Regina,” she pleads, as she feels the diamond’s magic pushes and pulls against their linked hands. She doesn’t even know what she’s asking for, but she senses whatever the former Queen was doing to prevent their magic from flowing together, is weakening rapidly.

And then it’s gone completely. Like a veil that just falls away, and Emma sees. Sees and feels. Everything. Like they are one interlocked circuit of magic, the ebb and flow coursing through her veins with its power. It’s pure, ancient, and Emma has never felt anything like it ever before. Her eyes find Regina’s while she is shaking with the magic that flows through every fiber of her being. She’s surprised to find them swirling with the softest hue of purple, a few stray tears escaping them at the edges, still clinging to her cheeks.

She can feel her too. All of Regina’s emotions at that moment. Her sadness, her strength, the desperation to see this all through for as long as she could, as much time as she could buy for the people above ground. Her love, for Henry and...

Her eyes go wide. She lets out a gasp of surprise, but isn’t able to dwell any further on it. Regina is forcing their combined magic to the object that’s still hovering between them. The diamond starts to spin, slowly at first, then quicker, until it moves fast enough to make her dizzy. And it pulses. Purple, then the strangest color of gold, faded, but still majestic somehow in it’s appearance. The colors blend together, creating a rich palette of purple and gold.

It pulses more quickly now and Emma can’t do anything but stare at it transfixed. She feels happy and sad at the same time, and her mind can’t cope with the barrage of feelings it gets bombarded with.

The explosion, when it happens a second later, takes her by complete surprise. And when she opens her eyes again, she’s lying on a floor of hard packed dirt, thrown clear across the room by the force of the explosion. Regina is lying several feet away, tossed haphazardly against one of the walls, cradling her head. There’s a streak of blood running down her forehead but it doesn’t look very serious, Emma notes with some relief.

It’s only when she picks herself up from the floor that she notices the diamond is gone. Gone. Completely. Not a trace of it ever existing, and her jaw drops open in amazement.

“Regina,” she calls out, unable to keep the elation out of her voice at having survived all this, at having prevented the town’s destruction. “We..we did it, it’s gone!”

“Indeed we did,” Regina says, softly, voice slightly scratchy. She hadn’t counted on this turn of events. With all of the odds stacked against them, they should never have been able to do this. The fact they had... The fact that their combined magic, had been enough... The fact that she had felt Emma’s magic, true love’s power, coursing through her veins, felt it wrapping around her battered heart like a protective shell... This she hadn’t counted on. And subsequently, she couldn’t deal with it. Nor with the consequences she was sure would follow.

Magic always had a price after all.

“You don’t sound so..”

“We should go up there, tell everybody what happened,” Regina interrupts. “See Henry again..”

The thought of the kid, and his reaction to both of his mothers saving the day makes a smile light up Emma’s entire face. It distracts her too from the jumble of confusing thoughts she has amongst the aftermath of their combined effort.

The distraction only lasts until Emma manages to catch Regina’s eyes. Immediately her heart does a summersault inside her chest. And she remembers.

“You’re in love with me,” she blurts out, without giving it any conscious thought.

She claps a hand across her mouth right after, horrified at saying it out loud like that. She blames the aftereffects of the harnessing of huge amounts of magic. Effectively removing her filter. And Regina’s walls. She can see clear as day the love the former Queen has for her, shining in her eyes, playing across her features. Emma figures Regina might not even be fully aware she’s doing it. Or maybe she was, and that was the reason she was in such a hurry to get out of the mines. To the safety of the crowds above.

A second ticks away. And another. Regina furiously works her mouth, but no words come out, and she can only stare blankly at the blonde saviour standing a few feet away. She’s at a loss of words. Denying it would be easy, but she also knows it’s futile. Emma knew. Regina’s heart sinks at the knowledge.

“It’s just an infatuation, it will pass,” she finally offers up as a way out of this painful discussion. When she sees Emma is about to protest, she wills the mask of indifference to slip into place. “It’s nothing, forget it please.”

“It’s not nothing!” Emma yells out, frustration dripping from every word spoken. “I could feel it Regina. It was like..something quite different from what I’ve felt before. I never felt so..so..” Emma swallows, and their eyes lock for a painstakingly long moment. “Loved..” she eventually whispers breathlessly.

And Regina winces, painfully, as if realizing something. Emma wants to reach out desperately. Wants to say it’s okay, wants to say she’s feeling... But she doesn’t know what she is feeling. That’s the thing. Neal’s gone. They saved the town. Regina being in love with her. She just...she can’t. Which must transmit through her expression, because the next second, Regina averts her eyes and bolts for the entrance.

Regina could feel the bitter sting of rejection settling heavily in the pit of her stomach. She had expected it of course. But it still didn’t make it hurt any less. Falling for her once arch-enemy, she wishes for a split-second she had taken after her mother and ripped her heart out. Instead she thinks of all the things she still has to live for. Henry, mainly, and she takes a page out of Emma’s book and runs.

But not before glancing back once. And what she see almost stops her. The embers of something that might one day grow into a fire, a connection she can’t name, shining clearly in Emma’s verdant green eyes. It’s not love, not exactly, not just yet. Maybe it never will be.

And it’s not enough.

She runs.

___________________________

****  
  


“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?”

Regina freezes. The idea of standing at the railing of Hook’s ship, gazing out to the dark sea that stretches out as far as the eyes could see, was the solitude. Instead though...

“No,” she admits.

She follows Emma’s form from the corner of her eye, not surprised at all to find her taking a spot adjacent to her. Close enough to make her knuckles turn white with the effort not to turn tail and run. This woman’s lack of personal space was disconcerting normally, it was worse with the knowledge that the saviour knew that Regina was harboring an ill-conceived love for her. A love she couldn’t seem to suppress no matter how hard she tried. It seemed worse, now that the secret was out in the open. Making her feel like a lovesick puppy whenever Emma appeared. Emotionally, it left her thoroughly off-kilter.

“Finding any answers out there?” Emma asks. Because she thinks it’s better to keep the topic of discussion vague. Since she is unsure of how to address the things she’s poised to ask, but can’t find the words to do so.

“Maybe,” Regina answers. Not even knowing why they are talking about this. Instead of the things they should be talking about. Or the things they shouldn’t, for that matter. The elephant in the room, or ship as the case may be. She should be heading back to her cabin, and yet she doesn’t. For reasons she can’t fathom. Maybe it’s the fact that despite the way Emma’s presence unsettles her now, she still enjoys it on another level. Maybe it’s because of the fact that even though Emma obviously doesn’t harbor the same feelings for her, she still cares for Regina. She always has. All the time. Especially when she needed it the most. When no one else bothered. It’s why she fell in love with her.

It’s why she stays now.

“We’ll find them you know? We’ll find them, and we’ll free Henry and then we’ll make those bastards pay.”

And this, this, Regina can wrap her mind around. This, Regina can channel into something she knows. Something that’s unhealthy to her soul, but it’s all she knows. This anger, this fury. It’s not just the fact that they kidnapped Henry. More the memories. The nightmares that haunt her. The phantom pain that still shoots through her body at times, paralyzes her limbs, makes her heart strain against her chest in agony.

She wonders if it must be readable on her face. All these emotions that flicker through her brain, one more painful than the other. How else can she explain away the look of worry and affection that is directed her way. Regina swallows around the lump in her throat and flicks her eyes back at the sea.

“I know we will,” she answers. A hand covers her own briefly, all too briefly, and squeezes it. A silent comfort. Something she can’t handle. Especially not now. She still allows the contact though, allows the way they stare right into each other’s eyes. It’s strange she thinks. Love is weakness, and yet...she’s never felt such strength.

“I guess I should go back to sleep,” Emma mutters. She doesn’t know why she reached out to Regina like that. Maybe it was the pain that was so easily readable in those fathomless brown eyes. Or maybe it was the shared loss of the child that bound them beyond anything else. She doesn’t want to analyze it. It’s probably for the best that she doesn’t, especially when all of her emotions are still so raw, like a bundle of exposed nerves. “Hook mentioned we’ll reach land around dawn so...maybe you should try to get some shuteye too?”

“I don’t think I can.”

Regina sounds so small, and God, if only things were different, Emma thinks. If only... She wants to envelop the other woman in a hug so badly. But she doesn’t.

“Okay, well, uh, good night then?”

She gets a nod in return and turns to leave when Regina calling out her name stops her a few paces away.

“Emma I...”

Emma waits patiently. Wondering, if this was the moment they were going to discuss what happened in the mines.

“I-I heard, about what happened...with Neal.”

And she gets something else entirely. Emma can’t stop her mouth from opening slightly, tongue swiping across suddenly dry lips. As if she knows, hell, she knows for certain, that Regina is about to offer up some hope for his fate after all. The knowledge that she can predict the other woman’s actions so well by now, jumps to the forefront of brain for a long moment, drowning out every thought she had of possibly seeing Neal again.

“He might still be alive. I don’t know where that portal took him but...there’s a good chance that wherever he is right now, he’s alive.”

Emma’s smiles joyfully, tears prickling in her eyes at the hope that blossoms in her chest. “Is there any way to find him?”

“Yes, though I don’t have the means right now,” Regina explains.

“I..thank you,” Emma eventually manages to stutter out.

“You’re welcome.”

It’s odd, this feeling that makes her heart clench when Regina turns around after having spoken those words. Like she’s afraid that anything more might break whatever tenuous hold she has on her emotions. Emma never in a million years thought that the former Queen could appear so fragile, so small. And yet...

Though it’s not so strange when she thinks about it, as she watches the woman’s slightly hunched form, gazing back out at the sea, peering into the darkness that obscures everything else. All of the events over the course of last week combined would probably cause any other person to have a mental breakdown. Not fragile, she realizes suddenly, just bending under the strain, absorbing the damage before eventually rising back up again.

Emma stares at Regina’s turned back for a long aching moment. There are a lot of things she wants to do. A lot of things she knows that should be said.

She closes her eyes, clenched her hands into balled fists and heads back to her cabin instead.

****  
  


___________________________

****

When they eventually do trace down Greg and Tamara, the showdown is glorious. As is the magic show. Emma enjoys the way they work together so flawlessly now, it’s exhilarating, freeing somehow. And when they combine their magics again... She almost feels like her heart might burst out of her chest, the love she feels via their connection is overwhelming in its intensity.

They find Henry too. And it’s only the fact that his rescue, from slavers no less, takes precedence over everything else that allows the conniving duo to escape their clutches once again. Though Regina vows she’ll trace them down, no matter the cost.

Plus there’s the matter that they possess the only means to get back to Storybrooke. The last handful of magic beans.

Emma wonders, looking at the people celebrating the fact they saved Henry, if she’s the only one conflicted about what to do with the beans should they eventually trace them down.

Try to find Neal, or return to Storybrooke. It would be the thought that haunts her for the following weeks to come.

****  
  


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****

 

The weeks pass into months. They’ve settled in houses along the coast, courtesy of the slavers they sent packing when they rescued Henry. It’s not Storybrooke levels of comfort, far from it actually, but it’ll have to do for now. At least until they can get their hands on the magic beans.

Emma watches, a little frustrated, as the ball of energy she conjured up expands in her hands, but refuses to shrink again to her dismay. She has been trying to exercise some control of her magics, albeit with not too much success apparently. There were a few things Emma had been able to get a handle on though. Mostly illuminating and healing spells. Regina had insisted on the latter, seeing as there wasn’t much in the means of medicine to go around in these lands.

There’s a single knock on the door of the ramshackle house she has claimed as her's and Henry’s home for however long would be necessary. She doesn’t even have to guess who the visitor was. Regina had been frequenting the house over the last couple of weeks, and they settled into something of a routine. That and Emma couldn’t cook. At all. And there weren’t exactly any microwaves around to hide that particular shortcoming. That it was the perfect excuse to help with bonding as a family while they were in Neverland was a nice bonus.

“I take it my parents returned from their little expedition?”

“Yes,” Regina answers, dropping her shoes off at the door as she rubs her hands together.

The weather was getting colder and it wouldn’t be too long now, before the season turned to winter. Which would greatly trouble the scouting of the terrain and the trips they made to trace down Greg and Tamara’s whereabouts. Regina can’t stop the frown from creasing her brows at the thought. She was sure they were getting closer to them, just how close though, was the question.

Emma’s shoulders slump as she spots the disappointed look on Regina’s face. Basically meaning that Mary Margaret and David didn’t have much luck again. It’s frustrating this thought, even more so than her inability to make the spells she was training bend to her will.

“I’m sorry,” Regina offers up. “I do have some good news at least though.”

“Oh?”

“They found a few magic relics, in an abandoned house hidden in the woods, I assume the slavers might’ve used it to stash some of their loot.” Regina bites the inside of her cheeks as she summons up the courage to continue with what she’s about to do. The thing that would surely tear her heart in two. But she has to, thinking that, if anything else, she at least owes Emma this much after everything that transpired between the two of them. After the way she essentially shaped much of Emma’s life, even without perhaps meaning to.

She’s doing good now. Even Henry has said so. Regina thinks it might be worth this heartbreak that would follow, just to see the look on his face. Just to make him happy. It has always been worth everything. Even crushing the love that she is slowly coming to terms with; love likely never to be returned.

“This mirror,” Regina states, holding up a slightly larger than usual hand-mirror in front of Emma. “If Neal has gazed into something reflective, wherever he is right now, it will show the images.”

Whatever smartass quip about how ugly the mirror was dies in her throat when Regina mentions Neal’s name. Instantly her stomach drops in her chest. The thought of seeing him again, of finally knowing whether he was alive or not, of having a chance to be reunited, it overwhelms every single one of her senses.

Her hands shake when she takes the mirror from Regina. She flashes a quick grateful smile at the former Queen, before looking down, at her own reflection staring back at her. Emma thinks of all of the questions she wants to ask Regina, thinks of welcoming back her parents who just got back from their trip, but all of it drowns in the sudden desperation to see Neal again.

She looks up again to see Regina regarding her quietly, a faraway look in her eyes. As if she’d been studying Emma for a while and Emma doesn’t know what to make of it. Her eyes give away it hadn’t been joyful thoughts. They are saddened, slightly dulled, making Regina look withdrawn, like she wasn’t really here in this moment. Emma figures it’s probably not far from the truth.

Which makes her look down again. Guilty with the knowledge that Regina was doing this for her, to make her happy, even if it was likely killing her inside. And for a split second, all Emma wants to do is grab the mirror and hurl it against the wall.

Instead she concentrates on Neal. And Henry. How he would respond to seeing his father again. It helps her block the niggling doubt at the back of her mind that she was causing irreparable damage to whatever it was that was growing between her and Regina.

“So how does it work?”

“Rem..” Regina scrapes her throat, willing herself to stop feeling so emotionally distraught over something she has brought on herself. “Remember the locator spell I taught you?” At the confirming nod she smiles. If nothing else, Emma did make for an excellent student when it came to the art of magic. “Close your eyes, form an image in your mind of him and cast the locator spell, while looking at the mirror.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Regina confirms.

She doesn’t stay and watch to see what happens. Knowing without looking that Emma will get it right on the first try. Somehow she always did. In the past there had been times when this would’ve made her angry. Nowadays it makes her proud, reaffirms the affection she has for the woman who was supposed to be her undoing. She has long ago stopped trying to bury these feelings. They just were. And sometimes they even gave her a sliver of happiness.

Despite resolving herself not to look, she does anyway.

And she thinks, that sometimes, these slivers of happiness aren’t nearly enough. Not when she sees, with a heavy heart, as Emma smiles, cries, and touches the images that the mirror is showing her. All the things she’ll never have, and Regina turns around once more and busies herself in the kitchen.

Emma hears the soft padding of feet moving away from her, but she doesn’t look up to see where Regina disappeared to. She’s too occupied with the rising conflict in her head. Though a part of her had been overjoyed to see Neal again; now that she knows for sure that he’s alive, it leaves her strangely empty. Devoid of the rekindling of love that seemed so certain to follow in the wake of seeing him again.

She tilts her head to the side, glances at the woman throwing around various ingredients into whatever would be serving as their evening meal.

Emma can read her expressions more easily now. Almost like a book. And the one on the former Queen’s face makes her heart ache. A look of quiet suffering, of a heartbreak she was so desperately trying to hide.

Her eyes find the images etched on the mirror’s surface again. She traces Neal’s face, slowly. She misses him. Loves him. Will always love him. But he doesn’t make her heart ache.

And her world turns upside down.

****  
  


___________________________

****

“I honestly don’t understand the appeal you know?”

Regina jumps up a little in surprise, and though she tried to hide it, she knows Emma noticed it anyway judging from the tiny smirk playing around her lips.

“Of?”

“The sea. Looking at it. All I see is waves, endless amounts of waves. I don’t see it.”

“Any doubt I’ve ever had of you being your parents spawn got erased by that remark.”

“Hey!” Emma huffs out, eyes narrowing to slits at the insult. “I’m just curious, no need to attack me about my lack of spirituality, or whatever..” she makes a few vague hand-motions to emphasize her lack of understanding.

“Perhaps you should’ve thought of that before sneaking up on me.”

Emma snorts, then shrugs. She missed this, the easy bantering. Ever since Regina had shown her that mirror, she had been doing her best to avoid Emma. Even foregone most of their usual dinners together. And of course there had been a myriad of excuses, but she wasn’t fooled by any of them. Emma knew what this was really about. It’s why she sought out the other woman near the water’s edge.

They were at the cusp of the falling winter, and Emma watches silently as their breaths fog up in the air that’s growing colder by the minute. Night would fall soon, which means she has to hurry this conversation along. But she’s at a loss of how to break this particular topic. Especially since she’s still unable to sort out the mess that was her conflicted heart. Never having felt so torn in her entire life.

“It’s because they both give and take equally, without judgment. Create life, or take it away, it’s humbling I suppose, in a way.”

“Huh?”

Regina smiles broadly at the all too predictable eloquent response coming from the woman standing next to her. “The sea. The tides can bring life, fertility, but floods could cause loss of life again. It’s unpredictable. Not predetermined.”

The sudden clarity this brings to Emma’s jumble of thoughts is unexpected. The sheer rawness that seeps through with every spoken word makes her breath catch in her throat. Not predetermined. Not like either of their lives had ever been. Regina’s fate being guided along a path of destruction, and Emma’s own intertwining with hers to eventually bring on her downfall.

Emma wonders briefly where the Evil Queen falling in love with the savior fits into all of this. And she can’t figure it out. Can’t understand how she appeals to anyone just as much as she couldn’t understand the appeal of staring at the sea moments before.

“When did you know?” she blurts out. Because she needs to know before she screws up her courage again. And besides, nothing can go back to the way it was before, Emma knows this all too well. It can only go forward.

“Know what?” Regina asks, despite knowing better. This was a conversational trap if she ever saw one, but she still steps into it knowingly, willingly. She thinks it’s the part of her that still clings to the past. To the girl she used to be, innocent still, believing in the stories of undying love. Before it had all been so cruelly ripped away from her in front of her very eyes.

“That you..y-you were in love with me.”

Regina stares at her hands, at the pebbles scattered around her feet, and at the sea. Anywhere but at the woman standing mere feet away. The silence stretches on, but Regina doesn’t care. She could’ve given the answer straight away, since she thought about this particular question a lot in the past. Back when she was still in denial. She doesn’t know why she hesitates now. Maybe because they had avoided this particular topic ever since Emma had called her out on it in the mines. It’s the discomfort probably, the conjuring up of possible expressions on Emma’s face when Regina poured her heart out. She would be exposing herself, yet another chink in her armor, a weakness she wouldn’t be able to hide.

But when she finally musters up enough courage to actually look at Emma, she’s floored by what she sees. Understanding and affection. And something more than embers. Something a whole lot more. Her heart beats a little louder, a little stronger, a little faster.

“When you came back,” Regina finally confesses. “From the Enchanted Forest. When you came back through the portal and the well. I thought... Henry convinced me to believe in you and..I did, I thought of all the things you’d done for me ever since the curse broke, and I just believed you could do this too. That you could beat my mother and return to Storybrooke. That even if my mother would eventually find a way there, you would come to my aid again and protect me. Like you did before...”

“But I didn’t,” Emma manages to say, after swallowing many times to clear the constriction in her throat.

Regina can’t suppress the wince in response to that simple sentence. Memories of events she’d rather not remember replay themselves in her head. Though she’s able to shake them eventually. “You still did more for me than anyone else has ever done for me. For completely selfless reasons. Remember what I said in the mines? That people always see me as the Evil Queen? Except for you. You are the only person that sees me the way I want to be seen, not the image that has always been cast of me, nor any of the facades I’ve hid behind. I know to you I’m just Regina and it’s part of the reason I-I..”

Regina swallows thickly, feels the moisture gather in her eyes, fails completely at stopping the vulnerability from showing clearly across her features as she looks right at Emma.

“Love you,” she says, after another second has passed. “Good night, Emma,” she offers up as she spins on her heels and walks away. A part of her hopes she’ll be called back. That Emma would call out her name. An even more foolish part of her hopes to hear Emma profess her love in turn. Of course it never happens. Any of it.

And she doesn’t even bother to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks unchecked this time.

Emma watches Regina walk away silently. Her mouth had opened at various intervals. Words forming on her tongue but never crossing her lips. She watches until Regina vanishes from sight and then she stares at the sea.

****  
  


___________________________

****  
  
  


“Regina!” Emma yells frantically. “Oh thank God,” she mutters when she follows the light cast by the locator spell and stumbles upon a body reclining against a tree.

It’s not until she’s actually hovering right above the fallen Queen that she notices the blotches of red that stick out against the purity of the freshly fallen snow.

“Jesus,” she gasps out. Regina’s clothes were soaked in blood near waist-height and Emma can spot the jagged cut of a knife wound through the tear in the fabric. “What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Saving the day,” Regina mumbles out weakly. “You d-don’t get to hog the limelight j-just because you’re the savior, you know?”

“Yes because being the savior means I’d go all suicide-mission to infiltrate the compound of a bunch of zealot nutjobs.”

“Not suicidal..still alive.”

“Barely,” Emma grits out.

She makes the tear in the fabric a little wider, rubs away some of the blood near the wound to get a closer look. All the while she tries to ignore Regina’s pained whimpers, her weak attempts to push Emma away from her. Thankfully the wound looks to be remarkably clean and she lets out a little sigh in relief. She knew how to heal wounds, she didn’t have a clue how to clean them magically though.

“Regina,” she whispers, as she gently moves the woman so that she’s half on Emma’s lap. “I’m going to try to heal the wound, okay?” Briefly it makes her wonder why the former Queen hadn’t bothered healing herself. But then she surmises Regina probably used up much of her magical energy to teleport away from the danger the moment she got stabbed. Off course it didn’t answer the question what the hell the damned woman had been thinking in the first place.

“God,” Emma grunts as she slowly moves her hand across the gash, watching with almost childish wonder as the skin knits itself back together. “You could’ve been killed. I could’ve...” Lost you, Emma finishes inside of her head.

A few tears slide down her cheeks, and she bites her lip to stifle the sobs that lodge themselves somewhere in her chest. "What the hell were you thinking?"

“Saving the day,” Regina repeats. She looks right into pools of green that are hovering just above her. A smile curling the corners of her lips upwards. Digging in the pockets of her jacket she holds the closed hand up, in front of Emma’s curious eyes. And then she folds her fingers upwards, revealing the objects in the palm of her hand, her smile touching every corner of her face in response to the look of stunned surprise she gets in return.

Emma grins and reaches out with her fingers. Touching the two beans that are sitting in the middle of Regina’s outstretched hand. Disbelief warring with hope at the sight. And when she finally makes contact with them, feels the solid forms beneath her fingertips, she laughs. She laughs and bends down, kissing Regina on the cheek.

And for a moment, it’s just the two of them, laying on the solid frozen ground, surrounded by fields of snow. The sunlight filtering through the barren branches of the tree they are reclining against. Emma watches the happiness flitter across Regina’s face, and it almost feels like she’s back in the mines again. The way her heart soars, dances in confines of her chest. And then she spots a shadow cross Regina’s face.

“Regina?” She questions, watching warily as the other woman extricates herself from Emma’s hold and stands back up again on wobbly legs.

Instead of an answer, there’s a hand offered to her, holding one of the beans. “You should take this one,” Regina says, refusing to meet Emma’s eyes.

It dawns on Emma then. The single bean meant for her. Neal. She could finally go and find Neal.

She could...but she no longer wants to. Not if it meant abandoning everyone else. Her family, Henry... Regina.

“I don’t want it,” she says softly, leaning forward and clasping Regina’s chin in one of her hands, forcing her to look straight at Emma. “I want...I want to go where my family goes...where you go,” she confesses.

“But..”

Regina can feel soft fingertips rest against her lips, effectively stopping her from saying anything else. Hope blooms in her chest, quickly and unchecked. She wants to believe, so badly, but the lessons history taught her, haunt her... All the people she loved before and lost...haunt her just as much.

“I know...” Emma utters softly, fingers brushing across Regina’s lips, the smallest of caresses. “I’ll always love Neal you know? He was my first true love after all, but..I-I... It’s not the same. All I could think of when you were going to give me that bean was abandoning everything I’ve worked so hard for by myself. The family I gained. The son I’m still learning to know. The woman I..I can’t live without.”

She smiles, closes her eyes for a moment, basking in this warm feeling of loving and being loved, and then Emma opens them again. Lets the last of the walls fall away. “When you were gone, God I thought..I didn’t know what to think. I never felt so scared. And when I found you, covered in blood, it felt like my heart got torn in two. The thought of never seeing you again... I asked you a few weeks ago when you realized you were in love with me. I think I’ve known for a while now, but I realized it just now,” Emma finishes with a smile.

She removes her fingers from Regina’s lips then, but not before sliding between them deliberately for a second, delighting in the widened set of eyes that stare back at her in shock.

“What about...” Regina manages to choke out, after a moment, eyes flitting to the beans in her hand when she’s unable to find her voice again. Emma’s monologue had quite literally rendered her speechless.

“You can give the second one to Gold,” Emma responds darkly. “He does have a lot to make up for and I’m sure he can manipulate an event or two towards his own devious ends and find his way back to Storybrooke.”

Regina grins wickedly in response as she pockets the beans. “Somehow I don’t doubt that.” Her expression softens again when Emma bends towards her and places one of her hands on Regina’s cheeks. She leans into the touch subconsciously, seeking the comfort it provides, wanting to bask into the knowledge that this was really happening.

Fingertips stray across her skin, slowly sliding down, back towards her chin. And then tilting it up, towards the lips that hover near her own. She keeps her eyes open, centered on the green ones boring into hers, until the first, lightests of brushes, forces them closed. Regina gasps softly, and loses herself into the kiss.

After a moment that feels all too short, as their lips separate and Regina opens her eyes again, she is met with a shimmering of gold shading Emma’s green ones. The same color she saw all those months ago in the mines, and she smiles with renewed understanding.

****  
  


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****

Four months after their return to Storybrooke, Neal indeed manages to find his way back to town. And to Emma. Who was lying in Regina’s arms on their sofa, limbs entangled while they were engaging in a lengthy make-out session.

He appears in the middle of the living-room. Right in front of them. It’s the first time Emma has ever seen a grown man faint.

****  
  


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End file.
